Bad Daddy strikes again!
From time to time I have been referred to around here as “Bad Daddy” by my loving wife, usually in the context of introducing some particularly nefarious form of junk food to my children (donuts, potato chips, cookies). Now, generally we are a family who eats pretty healthy stuff. Our kids get a good balance of vegetables and fruits and whole grain foods. I cook with olive oil and garlic. We often buy organic produce and meat. We rarely drink soda pop or processed foods or stuff with a lot of sugar in it.
But every once in a while I get these urges (probably from my sixties childhood memories of Coca Cola, pizza rolls and potato chips with French onion dip,) where my spontaneous desire for something gross that I know I shouldn’t eat gets the better of me. Like yesterday.
I was in Walmart with the kids, a place that I find inherently morally objectionable because of many reasons I won’t get into here. But we needed new sand for the sandbox, and Walmart seems to be the only place around here that has play sand that is not dusty and that sticks together well when damp. And this particular kind of sand works great for certain sculptural applications when mixed with Portland cement, so I also wanted to buy some for myself, too. We loaded the sandbags into a cart, and since there were a few minor grocery items we needed, and I didn’t feel like making an extra trip to Wegmans, we headed to the grocery department. (Hence the evil genius of Walmart’s one-stop-shopping)!
As we wandered down endless aisles of incredible bargains on our way to find yogurt and soy milk, I spied the cleverly placed display of Little Debbie junk snack foods at the end of an aisle. And piled prominently on that display were HUGE boxes of Little Debbie Fudge Rounds for a ridiculously low price. A price you would normally expect to pay for a regular sized box, but this was the BIG PACK! And that primal primate part of my brain that is hardwired for instant gratification (and high fat content) suddenly just snapped! And I found myself putting one of those boxes into our cart. As always, I rationalized this by thinking, ‘we eat good food most of the time, so an occasional indulgence into junk food won’t do any harm’. And off we went!
Last night after dinner Arthur reminded my of the Little Debbie’s we’d bought. So I broke open the Big Pack and we each had one. I read the long list of ingredients to the horror of all, as a valuable educational experience. Wow! Besides the usual sugar and corn syrup being the second and third most prevalent ingredients, and the several different preservatives (titanium dioxide?), did you know Little Debbie Fudge Rounds contain the colors Red 40, Blue 2 Lake, Red 40 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake, Yellow 5 and Blue 1? I have no idea what the ‘Lake’ means, but it sure can’t be good!
This morning as I shared with Arthur and Fiona a blueberry-cream cheese scone I’d purchased from the village bakery I got the ‘Bad Daddy’ admonishment from Stephanie again. Then she told me that last night, after our chemical feast, Arthur told her his head felt weird for a while, and then his stomach got a little upset. And I thought again of the innate wisdom of his young body and the effects of introducing Fudge Rounds into a relatively healthy digestive system.
Suffice to say, the Little Debbie’s are going into the garbage this morning.
Another lesson on ignoring the dictates of the primate brain and childhood addictions, brought to you by the Bad Daddy!