My Rules of Parenting
1. When You Say You’re Going To Do Something, Do It
When you make a rule, you need to stick to it (unless there is an official meeting to discuss said rule and the Parents decide it needs to be changed). Never, ever back down! No matter how much they say ‘Oh please, please, please! Just this once, why not? Please, PLEASE?!!!’
Children need consistency. They need to know you mean what you say. Deep down they depend on your consistency and honesty to feel secure. And they need to understand consequences.
2. Don’t Give Your Children Everything They Want, Give Them What They Need
Let’s not foster another generation of self-entitled, self-absorbed whiners you go out into the world thinking everyone should automatically conform to their wishes. Or that the conventions of civilized society don’t apply to them. Or who are just plain rude and unconcerned about the rest of Humanity!
I don’t want to get going about the mindless consumption of our culture, or that a lot of people constantly need to have every gadget and toy and material possession to try to fill their emptiness because they can’t find contentment from within, or that everything our kids see in this culture conditions them to look at superficial standards imposed by advertising companies or their brain-washed peers for their own sense of self-worth!! but there- I just did!
Children need to feel they are unique and to have a healthy sense of self-worth that isn’t based on what they have or how they look, but on their innate connection to other living beings and the world they live in; to their own qualities of creativity and compassion. For children to understand and love others, they need your unconditional love.
3. Listen To Your Children
This is an easy one to forget! As adults we often think we know everything and have all the answers. And we do have a lot more knowledge and experience than they do. But sometimes when your kid is being really obstinate or rude or angry it’s because they have some basic need that isn’t being met. It may be something so simple we completely overlook it. And they often don’t know why they’re acting the way they are. Young kids don’t know the right words to express their needs, so parents need to have patience. And sometimes just taking a deep breath and listening to what they say can be quite enlightening.
To Be Continued…
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
– Fred Astaire